Watching The Bachelorette without a bottle of chardonnay is a damn shame, but tonight I am going into a food coma thanks to my Chinese take-out sitting next to me. Sort of the same, right? Last week left us hanging with the drama of Chadmageddon, while the boys toasted adios to Chad he was out in the woods looking for payback. They spread his protein powder, as his ashes, all while he is making his way back to the cabin. Then the knock comes...
Did this scene remind anyone of the movie, "The Others"? A hidden cabin, in the middle of nowhere, crazy people and a horrible ending. Maybe he needs closure, I get that, or maybe he wants a fight, I don't get that but he does make really good reality TV. The good news is that he is officially on Bachelor in Paradise, and that is something to look forward to. Alex is rewarded and deemed America's hero by the men in the house.
The rose ceremony starts with all of the men elated that the drama is over. Don't men know that when you get rid of the main source of drama, a new one steps up, immediately. I have said it before and I will say it again, these men are ruthless compared to The Bachelor. Robby is spotted making out with JoJo, poems are read and masculinity is questioned all night long. I know I am bias to the name Luke, but he is quickly becoming my favorite. I may have to proclaim him my winner, and clearly JoJo thinks so too...
Rose Ceremony:
Derek
Robby
Chase
Wells
Grant
Vinny
James Taylor
Evan
Jordan (date rose)
Alex (date rose)
Sent Home:
James F.
Daniel
JoJo announces that they are headed to South America or more specifically Punta del Este, Uruguay. Jordan gets the first 1:1 date and you could literally hear crickets. As always, whoever hasn't gotten a 1:1 was expecting their name, but like past seasons this is usually a good sign you are headed home soon. While they are swimming with seals, the boys are back at the hotel reading gossip mags about JoJo and her ex, Chad. No, not Chadmageddon but the "roses on the front porch, during hometown dates," Chad.
Back to the Jordan and JoJo (that sounds good, doesn't it)? JoJo confronts him about speaking to his ex-girlfriend who had some major problems with Jordan and his lack of being invested in their relationship. I am not sure about you, but I have very few relationships where I would speak super highly of my ex. Would I say awful things? No, but I also wouldn't remember or scream their good loyalties from the rooftop. Jordan is growing on me and yes, they are crazy touchy feely but hey it is understandable.
JoJo addresses the magazine when she gets back from the date. Lots of tears and awkward group hugs later, they all agree it doesn't matter and it's time to move on.
The group date is on the sand dunes of Uruguay, which seems like a ton of fun. Being athletic is not a pre-requisite of solving erectile dysfunction, because Evan does not have an athletic none in his body. Luke shows his supportive side about the article, James Taylor should break out in a song but he breaks out his lips to comfort JoJo, and Wells moves on the from the name Chad. Derek gets the group date rose, and Alex is out for blood since he feels like it is a pity rose. Does anyone else feel like Alex is a big baby with a hint of the Napoleon Complex? Yes, me too!
JoJo and Robby head out to explore Uruguay. And of course the scene that all seasons must have, "I'm afraid of heights, but I will do it because I trust you and you are there for me..." So cliche and so annoying. If you are afraid of heights, for real, it doesn't matter if Liam Hemsworth is holding your hand, you won't jump off a cliff.
Back at the house, the mean girls clique is out to get Derek to admit he didn't deserve the rose. For some odd reason, I like Derek and I am totally siding with him on this. Hail the underdog! Robby drops the "L" word and JoJo does not reciprocate, thank God we won't have another season of the word love flying all over the place.
TWO ROSE CEREMONIES in one episode, this is wild! Derek tries to clear the air with the clique, but in true mean girls fashion they shoot him down and let him know that he is being emotional. JoJo decides to forgo the cocktail party and do the rose ceremony, Chris also drops the bomb that 3 of the men will be going home (thanks to the NBA, geesh)!
Second Rose Ceremony:
Luke
Jason
Alex
James T.
Wells
Robby
Jordan
Derek
Going Home:
Evan
Grant
Vinny
What a classy group of guys that were sent home, all of them were upset and not rude at all. I am going to take the plunge and go ahead and name my top two, Jordan and Luke! We will see if I am right, but for now let's keep watching the drama and the man fights unfold.
Happy watching,
Happy watching,
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