WiFi and 4G service is spotty at best when you live in a building made predominately from concrete. It can be quite frustrating when I am in bed trying to download my next RomCom or when we send Luke to his room for some alone time with the iPad (no judgement, our apartment is tiny ya'll). But you know what? I'm happy I don't get service in my daughters new nursery.
This is my last baby I will nurse through the night. The last time little cries will wake me up, needing me. The last time that I will be the sole provider of what my baby needs to survive. Someday within the next year will be the last time that she nurses and the last time that I will ever nurse a sweet baby.
I want to relish these moments with her. I want look in her little eyes and get her to smile that nursing smile that we all know and love. I want to have both hands available to be able to hold those tiny fingers while she is slipping away to dreamland.
So often throughout the day I am rushing to get nursing sessions over. We are rushing to get one last session in before picking Luke up from school. I am rushing her, so I can get the next load in the dryer or start dinner for the family. I'm hastily nursing her in the dressing room so I can finish the shopping that has to be done. The time we spend in the nursery is our time and it's one of the few times we don't have too much going on outside that door.
Since everyone we know is awake while we sleep (thanks, time zones) it would be so easy for me to get lost in social media every night. Instead, I am spending these precious hours soaking up all the smiles, all the cuddles and all the hand holding I can before it's over. My 4 year old needs me less and less these days. One day Ceci will need me less and less too, and that's ok! But, for now you can find me in the pink nursery loving life without service.
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